Indifference Or Detachment
A friend of mine recently shared an article with me on Facebook, about the Meaning of Detachment and Being Detached. I found it to be quite handy and realized that I and I’m sure some other bozos out there didn’t quite know the difference between experiencing indifference and detachment. Since this revelation that I wasn’t aware of the difference got me thinking, it was but natural and obvious that I was going to write about it.
We all have a bad day, bad week, bad month and if we’re really running out of luck, bad year as well. Now if we experience downs for a little longer than usual standards, there are two things that could come out of it. Either we’d try to handle it as benevolently as we could, or we would just simply lay down our arms and wait for it to pass. If we choose to do the latter, there’s a good chance that after a while we would stop giving crap about any of it or simply won’t bother any more. That is called indifference, isn’t it? No! It’s not! That’s what I used to think, the numbness, the least bothered attitude and the air of reverence that builds up around us is indifference. What then indifference is? The precise definition of Indifferent by Oxford Dictionary is “having no particular interest or sympathy; unconcerned”. Now, think again, that time of lows and lows when you thought you don’t care any more, did you really not care? Or was it just your mind playing tricks? I know all those times when I thought I have become indifferent in life about anything and everything, I wasn’t. Every time I watched a news about a suicidal bomb blast, an abduction, murder or a plane crash, I flinched, I sympathised, I cared and I was concerned. Every time some one did or said anything nice to me, it did put a smile on my face, it made me happy (even if just for a minute). And during all those “indifferent times” when things didn’t go the way I wanted, that made me sad, angry and disappointed. If I really were indifferent, had I been through that emotional roller-coaster? Don’t think so. We never stop caring, or sympathising. Our priorities might change, our way of looking at life could vary after some dreadful experiences, but it would take a lot more than a turbulence to make a person apathetic. Unless you’re either a socio-path, a psycho-path and hence a potential serial killer.
Now the million dollar question is (OK! Not a million dollar but still an important one) if all this is not indifference then what is it? Detachment? Nope! It’s not detachment either. “Detachment is an inner state of calmness and being uninvolved on the emotional and mental planes. It is definitely not indifference. People who are indifferent, do not care about anything, and are not active and initiative. On the other hand, people who possess emotional and mental detachment can be very active and caring, though they accept calmly whatever happens.” Now being detached is a very good thing indeed. You still care but you don’t make a fuss out of things, you just accept and surrender in a totally positive and a calm way. And there’s more detail to the term and the whole experience of being detached in that very particular article I mentioned earlier,link to which I would share obviously. The purpose of this laying down the definitions is to put a finger on where do we normally lay?
As I have already debunked the theory that we experience indifference, and the definition of detachment is a testament that it’s not it either. Then what do we name the state we find ourselves in, more often than not. I guess it still needs to be given a name. (or if it already has one, I’m not familiar with the term). I would believe it is something laying in the middle. We think it’s indifference so we sometimes stop paying attention to even those things that should be given a thorough attention and concern. We forget how important it is to put our matters back in the line. Why would we want that, we’re indifferent! But then something happens that we surely did not see coming and throws us off balance. And we go back to the sulking, brooding and dismal routine of ours. All the hard work we did to reach the point of indifference went straight down the sewer. Hence proven, this delusion of ours is of no use; Which brings us back to square one. It would definitely be ideal to have yourself be detached in a situation where you can’t really turn the tables. Breeding the inner calm and acceptance along with the endurance, a bit difficult but an only way to detachment.
I’m trying to develop and inculcate it in my life from now onwards, hoping to reach the point where I wouldn’t fume every time life hits me in the face. ‘Cause one thing is for sure, life wouldn’t stop blowing until it meets its so called adversary death. So I’d rather take the blows out front than my head buried in the sand.
(Source link of the article mentioned above)
Sana Farzand 